All I Want is Implants

I am a mother and a wife. I grew up living on the streets. My mom made sure my brothers went to the dentist off and on growing up. She never once took me to the dentist. All my life she made sure she reminded me how I looked to much like my father since he was asian and italian. She never wanted me so she never did anything extra for me. She made sure she did the bare necessities. Long story short, I made sure I wouldn't be like that with my two boys. My kids have awesome teeth. I on the other hand am 35 and have teeth like a crack heat or worse then meth mouth. I am usually a bartender and I am very outgoing. I can't even get hired to support my kids. We are now living from hotel to hotel. I lost my front tooth and my other teeth ( whats left is rotten ). I cry everyday. I won't look in the mirror. I won't talk to anyone. I just for once want to feel pretty.

I got my first tooth pulled at 15 and my mom was rich at this time, but she didn't think I was worth the money to save my tooth. All I have ever wanted was pretty teeth. I love working and want to go to school and someday open a homeless shelter and rescue abused dogs and assorted animals. But my dream isn't to have a kennel where the dogs are all locked up in cages. My dream is huge and I want to someday help mothers feel pretty and can one day get the smile they deserve. I had cancer from the age 24-30. I had several surguries but I ended up getting a complete hystorectomy. I hate myself. everyone says to me "your so pretty" and I actually get mad because little do they know my mouth is so gross. I am even embarrassed to go to the dentist because my mom told me I might as well let the rest of my teeth fall out because if I go to the dentist, their going to laugh at me behind my back and talk about me. I feel like a hypocrite telling my boys to floss and brush when I won't even look in a mirror. The last time I looked in a mirror and was somewhat satisfied of myself was at 14 years old.

I don't think I even deserve free dental work and if someones getting married or worse off then me, then by all means please take care of them because they are more than likely a better person. I am a loser who needs new teeth so I can just go back to work and school. I am scared of becoming homeless. When my teeth were halfway decent, I was able to get jobs left and right because of my outgoingness and I loved helping people. So, if there is noone worse off then me, I would really like for you to think about me. My husband might be loving again. We haven't been together in 3 years, so maybe my teeth will make him find me attractive. But, I just really want to go to work and support my boys. I love them so very much and I have always worked.

Wow, I am so sorry I babbled. GOD BLESS YOU and it is ok if I do not get chosen. I am sure you had a good reason. Thanks for taking the time to read this. You are wonderful just to give someone like me a chance to smile once again. All I want is to go back to work and not become homeless and a loser like my mother said I would be. I want to make my kids proud and myself proud. I hate myself and I have always been ok with that but lately, I loath myself I wont even talk. My husband and I are no longer together physically because he finds me very unattractive and I don't blame him. I want to smile and laugh the way I used to at 14 years old. I will somehow pay it forward. Noone will hire me. I lost my front tooth and my other ones are decayed. I am crying right now because I am a worthless human being. I feel bad for taking up your time and I am sorry. I want to eat food again and enjoy it. I am in constant pain. All of my back teeth are gone. I don't have 1 good tooth. I haven't taken a picture of myself since high school - not even wedding pictures. Thanks for listening.

Amanda
San Diego,CA

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